People always say that you shouldn't judge a person till you have walked a mile in their shoes, and like any other person I am guilty of pre-maturely judging people all throughout my life. These kind of life lessons will never cease to come, and when the come they seem to invade every corner of your life. So here is my humble apology to all stereotypes and judgments I have made thus far. First I am sorry for judging any person going through High School. As stated in the movie "Little Miss Sunshine," High school is the prime years for suffering. Looking back at old photos and yearbooks I find that everyone looked miserable even if they were the popular kids or the nerdy kids. High school wouldn't be high school if you didn't suffer in some way. Those awful years are what turn us into pre-humans. The same goes for freshman year in college. Finding ones self is never an easy journey. Some find themselves before others and some people have to go through a lot of change in order to discover who they really are.
Second I am sorry for sitting on my high horse when I was preparing for a mission. I was always told that it was the ugly girls who served missions for the Church. When I decided to serve a mission I vowed that I would never be classed as one of those frumpy looking "Weird" sister missionaries. Well, if I had actually understood what being a missionary is maybe I wouldn't have judged so critically. NO, being a missionary does not mean you have to be frumpy. But I had no idea how hard serving a mission was going to be. No one (unless they have done it themselves) understands how hard a mission is. You work 24/7 and your entire purpose is to help people by being a representative of Christ. No body on the street could care a bit about what you have to say to them, in fact they will laugh, spit, and curse in your face and then throw you out on the street for even mentioning the name of Christ in their presence! You begin to have problems with your back from carrying a bag of scriptures for so long. You constantly have indigestion because you never are 100% sure of what you just ate (But you are grateful for it because it means someone loved you enough to feed you). You have limited contact with the ones you love and you don't even get to choose the people that you work with. So why do people do it? Because there is nothing better than actually fighting for what you believe in! There is nothing like the experiences that come from developing a loving relationship with people who share different ideas, cultures, and beliefs. You change each other. And when you look back you don't regret a single moment because you know because of the purpose you had, and the people you met, that you have become a better person and you wouldn't give that up for anything. Being fashionable and beautiful takes second place. I am sorry for having judged any person courageous enough to serve a mission.
Third, I am sorry for judging married women who seem to have lost a desire to wear makeup, or who don't have near the style sense that they had before they got married. Well, I am here to say that style is not all the shiz that I thought it was beforehand. Honestly, if I don't wear socks that match, or if I obviously picked out an outfit that resembles a who from whoville to wear, it's probably because I barely made it to school on time because there are so many things to be taken care of. But, I finally don't care. If someone thinks I look like a dork then great! They are probably seeing who I really am on the inside. Now, I do quite enjoy looking nice. I love looking like my outfit was chosen from a catalog, I like being able to walk with extreme confidence unafraid of anything in the world. It makes me feel like Jennifer Garner on Alias. I look good and I am about to kick some butt. But that being said, I now put more importance on laughter, I love making Shane laugh and I love surprising him by things that I do. I also love it when he makes me laugh because he knows me so well. And when I am grumpy he knows exactly how to calm the vicious dragon inside of me down. I also love making delicious food. It becomes my own science experiment when I cook. And I must say I am a pretty good cook, sometimes it doesn't always work out...so I learn to adapt and I learn not to do the same thing again. No, I hardly have time for myself between being a full time student with two part time jobs and a house to take care of. But I am much happier.
Lastly I am so sorry for having judged any pregnant woman ever! A woman whose house is dirty, and there is food on here shirt from her last meal. Growing a person is freaking hard! Everything makes you nauseous, you forget to brush your teeth most of the time and on top of that you can barely remember the basic functions of being a human. On top of all of the symptoms of pregnancy your expenses have increased dramatically with all of the medical bills. And some days you think it would be easier just to live in a hole and give birth to the baby there, then there would be no politics or dealing with doctors. Getting through this part is proving to be awfully difficult. M being an extreme planner does nothing because now I have no control over anything in my life and I just have to have faith that everything is going to be okay and that none of the amazingly weird dreams I have been having are going to actually come true. I am sorry for judging any pregnant woman. But I hear that all of it is worth it in the end when you finally meet the little person who has been kicking your bladder for the past several months.
So now I would just like to apologize to anyone I judge in the future. I know I don't understand now, but don't worry it will eventually catch up with me and I will finally understand why you do things the way you do.
